Monthly Archives: October 2009

[insert witty survey title here]

I’m sure we’ve all gotten those cute little ‘surveys’ in our emails asking us for random information about ourselves. I think they’re fun, fill them out, send them to my friends and sometimes to the occasional ex-boyfriend I want to annoy by sending him forwards. 🙂 My life is relatively boring, but I love learning silly, random things about other people.

Here goes:

1. What are some nicknames you have had? Sha Sha, Moo, The Grouch From The Living Room (don’t ask…)

2. Who was the last person you kissed, and where?
-My husband, on the cheek to wake him up

3. What were some of your Halloween costumes?
A pizza, a lemon, a traffic light, a tube of Clearasil, a baby doll

4. What are you going to do tonight?
Same thing we do every night, Pinky…:)

5. What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen?
I hated Cloverfield and Kill Bill, Vol 1

Would you rather…

1. Have lots of money or lots of friends?
Friends

2. Be intelligent or beautiful?
intelligent, it lasts longer

3. Stay awake for two days straight or sleep for two days straight?
Stay awake

4. Be a game show host or a soap opera actor?
Game show host

5. Be strapped to a chair and force-fed moldy donuts or be strapped to the same chair and forced to watch 24 straight hours of American Idol?
I don’t know, they both sound equally disgusting. 🙂

Would you ever…

1. Be a contestant on a reality show?
Depends, but probably not

2. Pose nude?
No. Trust me, no one wants to see that…

3. Sleep with any of your teachers/professors?
Most of them, no; some of them, yes; A few of them, hell yeah! 🙂

4. Dye your hair blue?
Maybe

5. Waste your time reading stupid blog posts and surveys?
🙂

If you have gotten this far reading this survey, you are now morally obligated to post your answers in the ‘comments’ section. If you don’t do so within 20 minutes, a giant purple mosquito will bite you and give you bad luck for the next fourteen years, and your significant other will flee the country and marry a goat.

Geez, can you tell I was bored? 🙂

I know this will occur because my brother’s girlfriend’s sister’s former roommate’s next-door neighbor told me so…

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SEX!!!!!!

Made you look! 🙂

I’ve been reading through some of the article and posts on the sites I frequent, and I had some more thoughts. Scary, I know. Be careful, this ‘thinking’ thing could become a trend. 🙂

Anyway, I was thinking about the way some Christians focus more on sexual sins than anything else, and I came to the conclusion that they probably do this because sexual sins are just more interesting. Think about it, who of us doesn’t like to think about sex, at least on some level? It’s titillating*. Maybe we don’t want to think of certain actions, but the subject in general is more interesting to think and talk about than a lot of the other sins.

Sloth? Snore.

Greed? Don’t you have to have money first?

Gluttony? Who cares?

Envy? Can be interesting.

Wrath? Well, some of us enjoy this one.

Pride? We’re getting there.

Lust? Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

Of course this isn’t an exhaustive list, but you get the point. It seems to me that some Christians make lust out to be the worst of the worst when it comes to sins. If this were true, you would think that a person would want to focus on *other* sins, so as to hide their propensity to lust and distract from it. I know I have an issue with lust sometimes. But is there really any ‘hierarchy’ of sins? I’m not sure, otherwise I’d have been hellbound a long time ago. I think a lot of Christians also focus on sexual sins because those might be the particular sins they do not struggle with in their own lives, and pointing the finger is a good distraction. It’s really quite fun sometimes. Otherwise, we just might have to *gasp!* think about our own sins. No one really likes to do this, but it is necessary.

That is why the view of my current church (Episcopal) makes more sense to me…the prayers and meditations are about confessing and repenting of our own sins. I have never heard the sins of others being mentioned. I guess the idea is that, if we give that amount of thought to our own sins, we won’t have time to judge others. It’s not intended to impose guilt so much as making you aware. I’ll admit I prefer to be distracted. It’s much more fun for me to point the finger at other people, but that liturgy serves to remind me that when I point one finger at someone, I have three more pointing back to me. It’s kind of a sobering thought.

And now I am going to go distract myself from lusting after Michael on Burn Notice by lying around on the couch all day, envying my neighbor’s BMW, counting my (nonexistent) money and eating a whole pint of Cherry Garcia. I’ll let you know how this goes.

* I used that word on purpose. Sue me. 🙂


Things That Make Me Think of God

I think most Christians (and other theists) God if they saw things like a cross, the Magen David, an icon of the Virgin Mary, etc. I do too, but I also think of God when I see various ordinary things in the world. There’s so much wonder, so much beauty, so much intricate detail that there *has* to be a creator. Here are some of those things:

-The leaves turning in the fall

-A clear night sky

-The reflection of a full moon on the ocean at low tide

-The reflection of a sunrise or sunset on the ocean at low tide

-The way the Oak Island bridge back home (NC) arches so that you can see the tops of the clouds driving over it in the morning

-The smell of gardenias or honeysuckles in the air

-The way the sky looks like it has been ‘painted’ at sunrise or sunset

-The way each of my brown tabby’s hairs has the colors that make up her patterns, as though God painted her. Also, the way she seems to know she’s beautiful. 🙂

-The way my husband looks at me

-The smell of the air right after a rain or the grass has been cut

-The fact that I’m alive and walking after breaking my pelvis in a car wreck

-Random acts of kindness and love in people

-My cat Slater’s beautiful green eyes

-The love and friendship my parents had for each other before my mother died

-The fact that my mother is no longer suffering and that I had the privilege of being her child

-The fact that my father got to talk to my brothers after having them taken away for 20+ years

-Any time I see a couple who have been married 40+ years and they still like each other

-The way my orange tabby Daniel Tiger sometimes has one black whisker and the others are white

-The patterns of a tortie cat and how no two have the same pattern

How about you?


Untitled, written 12/98

(In my defense, I wrote this after hearing something stupid my ex said about me and listening to a lot of Alanis Morrissette.)

I thought you were so perfect
I thought that you’d be mine
How could I be so stupid?
How could I be so blind?

You made me think you wanted me
You even said you cared
I trusted you with everything
I laid my whole heart bare

But what was I to you?
Another page you turned?
As I’m left to throw my dreams away
And watch my teardrops burn?

I’ll never fall in love again
I can’t afford the pain
My heart can’t take the damage
My soul can’t bear the stain

My soul, it died the day you left
My heart, it hit the floor
But you’re still in my dreams at night
You leave me wanting more

I’ve given you my world, my honor
My dreams I dearly prize
How could I throw that all away
For something in your eyes?

But what was I to you?
Another body, another thrill?
Oh what does it matter now
It’s just my soul you killed

(Refrain)

You’ve left me here with nothing
But one lesson, drowned in tears
Because of you, I’ll never trust
But forever live in fear


Moonlight

As I walk alone in the pale moonlight
The waves licking my feet
I imagine you beside me
I dream I am complete.

I see your image in the sky
Your face among the stars
Your splendor overwhelms me
Will all else that you are.

Your voice is that of angels,
Your touch the warmest sun.
And although I’ve heard of others
You’re now my only one.

In my heart, I cherish you
More than you could ever deem.
But sadly I must walk alone
For you are just a dream.


A True Beauty

So what if I’m not
A picture-perfect lover
Who cares if I’m not
On a magazine cover

So what if I don’t
Dress the latest style
But one thing I do,
I always wear a smile

Mama always told me
Pretty is as pretty does
And beauty comes from the inside
I guess that’s good news, ’cause I’m

A true Beauty
I’m a true beauty
So what if I don’t fit a mold
A true Beauty
I’m a true beauty
‘Cause I’ve got a beautiful soul

Who cares if I don’t
Always have perfect hair
Just take a good look
And see what is there

I’ve got a good heart
I’ve got a good mind
I know who I am and
I’ve learned how to shine

Mama always told me
Pretty is as pretty does
And beauty comes from the inside
I guess that’s good news, ’cause I’m

A true Beauty
I’m a true beauty
So what if I don’t fit a mold
A true Beauty
I’m a true beauty
‘Cause I’ve got a beautiful soul

A true beauty, a true beauty
It comes from the inside
A true Beauty, a true beauty
It comes from the inside


Broken

Lonely
Living in this empty space
Lonely
For you have gone without a trace
Left me in a desparate place
Crying in disgrace

Faded
Clouded as the sky in rain
Faded
On my heart, you left a stain
I’ll forever live in pain
Driving me insane

But you don’t care, no you don’t care
Now that you’ve had your fun
And you don’t care, no you don’t care
Compassion, you have none

And now I’m Broken
Yes, I’m Broken
Just look at what you’ve done
‘Cause now I’m broken
Yes, I’m broken
And I can’t find the sun

Dying
Drowning in this lake of tears
Dying
Now your voice is all I hear
Playing on my deepest fear
This darkness drawing near

Fallen
Don’t know how much I can take
Fallen
Now that I know your love was fake
And that you’ve burned me at the stake
I feel like I could break

But you don’t care, no you don’t care
My very soul is gone
And you don’t care, no you don’t care
‘Cause in your mind you’ve won

And now I’m broken
Yes I’m broken
Just look at what you’ve done
‘Cause now I’m broken
Yes, I’m broken
And I can’t find the sun

Broken, so scattered is my heart
Broken, completely torn apart

Broken, drowning in a sea of flames
Broken, and I’ll never be the same


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