I’ve been ‘fixed’!

No, I haven’t been rendered sterile, although the world would probably benefit from that. 🙂 I got my hip replaced!

I know I’m very young for this, but it’s related to the accident I described midway down the page in this https://theprozacqueen.wordpress.com/2009/12/21/lessons-learned-in-2009/ post. Short version-I was pulling out of my subdivision and got hit T-bone style on the driver’s side by a Dodge Ram. I broke my pelvis, spent a month in the hospital, basically had to learn to walk again and got arthritis from hell because of some extra bone that grew in the hip socket. This happened in 2005 November.

Now-2012 October, seven years later-I *finally* get to have this taken care of! I’ve waited for so long because of the costs associated with it; the hospital fees alone are more than $55,000! No, that’s not a typo-it actually costs *that* much, and that’s not even counting the doctor’s fees or the cost of the implant itself! Is it any *wonder* that one of the main causes of bankruptcy in this country is related to medical bills???? My friends from a support group board out of England took up a small collection for me; one of the main points mentioned was how the author was ‘appalled’ by how our health care system in the US handles stuff like this. Yes, I would have had to wait, but not SEVEN EFFING YEARS! I’m glad I live where I do, but that’s just ridiculous.

I have Medicare hospital insurance in addition to the insurance through my husband’s job because I get disability payments, which is the only reason we’re even *close* to being able to afford this. Also, his company is no longer offering insurance next year-some sort of ‘flexible spending account’, but that wouldn’t give us anywhere *near* the amount of coverage we would need to offset the costs. Yeah.

My friends have all told me that I’ve been very patient and strong when it comes to the wait. I’m glad I come off that way, but the fact is that I really don’t have any other choice. I could either sit around feeling sorry for myself (which, believe me, I did), fuss out God (which I also did, but He’s a big boy) or whatever, but that wouldn’t have done any good. Sure, it might get some feelings out, but self-pity isn’t a place you want to remain for very long. I know that from experience, believe me.

I mentioned fussing at God. It wasn’t in the ‘curse God, you’ve had enough’ sense so much as ‘if this is Your sense of humor, it sucks!’ sense. I don’t actually believe that God *does* bad things to us; He might *allow them to happen*, which is what happened in the book (Job) my quote is from, but He doesn’t do bad things to us Himself.

If you think about it, it’s actually a *positive* thing for a person of faith to get mad at God. As I heard on Desperate Housewives, the opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference. Although we’re hardly in a position to argue with God, the fact that we get upset with Him over bad things that happen to us doesn’t mean that we’ve lost our faith; far from it. It actually means that we *do* believe in Him, that we *do* care about what God thinks of us, that we *do* ordinarily consider Him a good God who cares for us. Think about it-if a really bad person did something awful to somebody or allowed something awful to happen, we wouldn’t be surprised. We might be upset at what they did, but the ‘surprise’ element, the perceived ‘betrayal of trust’ element that gives these feelings their ‘ooomph’ wouldn’t be there. You probably wouldn’t have trusted the other person, but you *did* trust God, and that’s why it hurts so much when bad things happen to us. It’s like the way you felt when you were a kid and your dad spanked you-not only did it hurt, but you’re upset because you thought he loved you, you didn’t think that was something a loving person did. And like the spankings, the bad things happen for a reason. Hell if I know what that reason *is*, but there is one.

I suppose I should probably sign off now before I fall asleep sitting up. I’m doing very well, but still get tired much more easily than before. I have to remind myself that this is okay, that I’m not expected to bounce back right away and start dancing up and down the street. Good thing too, since I’m still wearing the hospital gown. Trust me, nobody wants to see that!

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About theprozacqueen

30s, female, married, Georgia US, very opinionated, open-minded mostly, too nice for my own good, Christian, fairly liberal, friendly. I have a pretty big family and several friends and in-laws that might as well be family. I don't have kids, but I have five cats who think they're kids. I have a silly (and sometimes off-color) sense of humor. I'm a Christian so I'll try not to be nasty or use bad language in my posts, but I'm not making any promises, View all posts by theprozacqueen

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