Category Archives: cats

Christmas list?

This post was originally published in December 2010, but I thought it could use an update. Even though I am working now, I still can’t help but feel like crap because half the time I forget things that are easy for everyone else to remember and I seem to always be doing something wrong. I’m not saying that because I get constant criticism, although it feels like that sometimes. I’m saying that because I’m oversensitive and tend to respond to things like the tones people use when sometimes it’s better to remember that that’s just how someone talks or that this isn’t a good time of the year for me in general. It’s better this year than it has been because I’m working and making money, although I do wish I could see my family and friends more often. Anyway, back to your regularly-scheduled whine-fest.

My husband asked me what I wanted for Christmas. The first things I thought of were a Bible with the Apocrypha in it and/or one of my favorite party games. Of course, we’d actually have to *have* parties in order to play said game, but that’s something else entirely. I can think of a few things I’d like, but I don’t think they would be something he could give me. For instance:

-He can’t give me my brain back. One thing I hate to no end is that I feel like I am ‘slipping’…everyone else ‘gets’ things that I don’t, and I keep missing and forgetting things. I don’t want to immediately say it’s because of my bipolar and/or ADHD, but that’s probably the most likely scenario. My doctors have told me that it affects the way I think; I test lower on IQ tests than I did before because my brain works differently (well, assuming it works at all 😛 ). Seriously. I’ve been told over and over again that I ‘don’t think’ or whatnot, but that’s not true at all. I *do* think, I just tend to think so fast that nothing really ‘sticks’. My last few employers-you know, the two jobs I was fired from in two weeks-can attest to that. It’s just so frustrating, because I feel like everyone else is smarter than me and understands everything much better. Maybe this is true, but maybe I’m just *different*, not any less or any more. I don’t know.

-He can’t help me lose weight. Maybe he can in terms of eating more vegetables and less fatty stuff, but he can’t exercise for me or stop me from liking things like soda and cookies. I feel like I’ve nagged him enough about that in terms of getting him to buy veggies and fruit for produce, although truth be told I really don’t push anywhere near as much as I could. Still, I know that money has been really tight for us and that he feels like the stuff we can afford is often the stuff that’s really the worst for us. He doesn’t say it like that, but that’s what it comes out to. We *do* get canned veggies but It’s up to me to actually *eat* them, or to choose them over other stuff when I have a choice.

-He can’t help me get motivated to do, well, anything. I have so many projects I’ve started that I haven’t finished and don’t really know if I will. A children’s book, a novel of sorts, a few other writing projects…at least I’ve had some stories published, although they haven’t sold yet and *ahem* aren’t the type of stories you let your dad read. I have a couple of tabs open in my browser right now for things I keep meaning to read, but somehow never get around to it because I’m so easily distracted. Maybe at some point I’ll stop playing Facebook games long enough to read the stuff I’m supposed to read on Beliefnet for my job, and Slater, get off the counter,then do some writing I get paid for and Dr Phil’s head looks particularly shiny today….oops, got distracted again.

-He can’t get me to stand up for myself the way I need to.

-He can’t ward off my depression or make other people do stuff with us. They have their own lives and I totally appreciate that, but sometimes I just get bored with the same old thing. Boredom often leads to depression with me and, since I don’t work outside of the home, I get bored quite a bit. It’s gotten better now that we’ve paid the car off and I’ve been doing more stuff at church. Just to get out among other people-especially more women since most of my friends here are men-really helps. Even so, sometimes I still feel really “meh”. Which leads me to my next point:

-He can’t make me feel like less of a piece of crap because I get disability even though a lot of the time I feel as though I can work. I know from experience that my mental issues cause major problems and my physical issues aren’t much better, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling as though I’m one of those “sponges” or “cheats” some people rant about. I would never, ever say that to someone else, but I’ll say that to myself. Hmm.

He can’t change the past, which is ultimately what it would take to ward this off.

That’s just it. He can’t change the past. I know he would if he could, though. The only thing that can be done is to get to be more comfortable and content with the way things are and to try and improve things from there, but that’s something I have to do for myself. I have to ask God to help me with that every day, if I remember. That’s really sad, ‘if I remember’, but the point is that he can’t do it for me because it’s not *for* him to do. It’s for me, with God’s help. And I need all the help I can get.

*sigh*

Maybe I should just stick with new jeans and some bras to replace the ones I can’t wear anymore. That would require a lot less explanation.

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My ‘Children’…Cee’s Oddball Photo Challenge

Many people know know me well know I love to take pictures. This is a relatively new finding-I started on a trip to England with some friends and haven’t stopped! Unfortunately the only equipment I have to work with is an iPod and the camera on my phone (or phones I no longer use). Still, I think they turned out pretty damned good. Others, not so much, which is why I might not have published or shown some of the earlier ones. Most of these were taken with my old LG for Verizon, but not all.  Anyway, here are the “weird” photos I’d like to submit to Cee’s Oddball Photo Challenge. http://ceenphotography.com/cees-odd-ball-photo-challenge/

Haley and Slater, two of the sweetest cats in the world!

Haley and Slater (from left)
Two of the sweetest cats in the world! They can often be found in various affectionate poses. Slater also likes to run around the house like a madman, chasing after nothing. Maybe he sees something I don’t

Hey, I told Daniel Tiger I’d scan him in if he didn’t move…:)

I miss my Daniel Tiger. 😦

“Mommy, yoo-hoo! I’m waiting!!!!

Missy, c. 6 mos

Now let’s play Find The Kitty!:

Toby is a Manx…this breed of cat is born without a tail. He’s what’s called a ‘rumpy riser’, because he has a little ‘nub’ he moves up and down.  Strangely, though, he is the only one I’ve ever seen chase his ‘tail’….*shakes head*.  Freak!

He’s a total chunk, weighing what feels like 12-15 pounds. Believe it or not, he’s not the fattest cat we know. I know one who weighs 26 pounds. Yes, you read that right. 26. What’s interesting is that he feels pretty solid, although I’m sure there’s some fat under there.

Here are some other photos I just feel like posting:

“Extreme close-up! Whooooooaaahhhh!”

Oscar isn’t our cat; he’s the 26-lb cat mentioned above but, yes, that’s a pickle he’s eating…

Anyway, these are some of my “oddball photos”. I hope you enjoyed them!


The Painted Kitty

20150518-231902.jpg

This is my cat Missy. I call her “The Painted Kitty” (or just “Painted”) because of the way each individual hair of hers has specks of the colors that make up her patterns. You’ll probably find this on most tabbies, although it’s usually easier to see in cats with multiple colors than with different shades of the same color. She looks as though God took a paintbrush and started marking up a canvas in whatever pattern He wanted to use. My friend’s tortie (tortoiseshell calico) Daimos was the same way-black with yellow and orange blotches that showed up bit by bit on each of her hairs. My vet said that no two tabbies or torties have exactly the same patterns, so it’s as though He really did “paint her special”. That’s what I tell her, anyway.

She might not understand the words, but I think animals pick up on a lot more than we think. My old roommate’s cat Thomas would immediately follow her into her room when she came in crying, which happened a lot. Her other cat would camp out on the edge of my bed when I was home with a sinus infection; she had sinus issues too, so it was like she “felt my pain.” When I came home from the hospital after having been there for a month, I’d wake up to find Missy at the end of my bed each morning. I think she wanted to make sure I didn’t go away again. They’re aware of these things, sometimes more so than humans.

Anyway, I hope you liked looking at her as much as I do. It’s like I’ve said about a sunset-if God is willing to put so much care and effort into something that can’t talk or have a relationship with Him, imagine how much care He puts into us. Something to think about.


Coney McConerton :)

In this post ,https://theprozacqueen.wordpress.com/2009/11/03/117/  I said I couldn’t get Haley to pose by herself because she was too camera-shy. Well, it took a while, but I’ve gotten her to sit for a few…or, made her, or something…anyway-

Introducing Coney McConerton!

 

Haley with cone

If she looks pissed, that’s because she is. She has to wear that cone because her food allergies (soy, dairy, egg, rice…in other words, every cat food ever made) make her itch so bad she can’t stop chewing at herself if left alone. She’s doing a lot better than before-she takes pills now rather than allergy shots-, but she’ll probably always have problems in the spring and fall. It doesn’t matter that she is indoor-only; the pollen and some grasses around here bother her skin, and all you have to do is open a window. After years of having to buy her special food, we’ve managed to find an over-the-counter food (9 Lives Plus Care) that doesn’t have her allergens that the other cats can have too. It helps with Slater’s (the grey-and-white boy’s) urinary issues too.

She’s a sweet girl, though, and very popular at the vet’s office. If she were human, she’d be the prom queen.

She’s also *smart*-she figured out how to take off her cone within about five minutes of being put in “her room” to be fed and “pilled”, as well as how to hide a pill in her mouth and spit it out when I’m not looking. I think she once even *hid* her cone too-or at least that’s what I thought when I found it under the dining-room table, a place she wouldn’t have been able to get to if she’d been wearing it.

Anyway, I just thought I’d share. Enjoy!

 


Me and Toby

Photo on 6-5-14 at 1.50 PM #4_2One of the few pictures I like of myself.

 


RIP Daniel Tiger. :(

Daniel 2:21
I lost my beloved kitty Daniel Tiger this week. 😦 He was fine up until a couple of weeks ago, chasing the other cats and poking me in the face with his claws so I’d get up and feed him. At 5 am. Then, suddenly, he started having problems with balance. He scratched my husband out of nowhere, kept knocking things over and couldn’t stand up straight. He wouldn’t eat, so we had to feed him with a syringe. Wet cat food stinks, but he’s worth it.

We took him to the vet two Saturdays ago, and she said that it was one of two things-vestibular ataxia caused by an ear infection, or a brain tumor. She didn’t know which, so we started treating for the former with steroids and special food. He seemed to be getting better for a while there but, about six days ago, he took a turn for the worse. Poor thing was in so much pain he was growling, and he was never a very ‘vocal’ cat. We took him to the vet this Wednesday and had no choice but to put him down. 😦 It was freezing when we went to bury him that day…very fitting.

Anyone who says that you can’t get attached to a pet because they don’t have souls of their own is full of it. That kitty had been with me through moves, breakups, relationships that never should have happened and all kinds of awful stuff. He’s been with me for ten years, making him the longest relationship I’ve ever had with a ‘man’. 🙂 Is that sad, or what? He always seemed to know when I needed love and was more than willing to give it. Everyone who met him loved him. I missed him the moment he died, and I’ll miss him for a long time coming. I know some people will say, he’s just a cat. Maybe so, but he was like a child to me, possibly the only type I’ll ever have. I hope not, but we shall see.

Rest in peace, Daniel. I’ll see you again someday.


Something cute

I know I haven’t been around much, I’ve not been doing as well, and somewhat busy. I hate the sort of ‘flat’ boredom of ‘blah’ feeling. In case anyone else has this too, here’s a picture I found that might help:

This cat is practically a clone of my Daniel Tiger…and he’s pretty mellow, so maybe this is his ‘secret’…


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